The 3rd Guy goes to Church (2 of 4)

The guy walks into the building and sheepishly looks around and walks forward as a hand is shoved into his hand.  The guy at first is taken aback at the treatment but looks up to see the genuine smile on the owner of the hand and his defenses fall.  "Hello, welcome to church."  The guy returns the handshake and greeting and makes his way to the back on the left side of the auditorium and takes in the massive room.  As the man walks through the auditorium he notices the massive curtains covering old stained glass and has to stop and take a peak at the old artwork now covered over. 

The guy sits down listening to the pumped in music at just the right level to still accommodate conversation. The guy places his coat on the seat next to him to make sure no one sits beside him. The lights fall and everyone stands, so he does too.  A familiar sound fills the room, had he heard this on the radio or something?  The guy at first does not sing as he feels silly but he starts to sing when he notices that he really can't see anything and that probably nobody can see him also.  The guy finds that singing is actually a bit enjoyable even though the words are a bit distant to him.

The next song starts and he realizes that he didn't recognize the last song but just that these songs all seem to sound similar.  The third song starts and while he still did not know the song he was confident he could follow the song fairly well. This time he starts paying attention to the words he was singing, which were very positive he thought.  The guy noticed how all the people on stage were significantly more attractive than he was.  And even though nobody could see him in the dark room he was reminded that he needed to work on his weight. The guy sat down feeling a bit uncomfortable but he was disarmed again when the dressed down pastor came out on stage and communicated with the demeanor of a kind father, one that the guy assumed all these other people had.

The pastor began pointing to the Bible passage on the screen and after reading it he began telling a story. The guy paid close attention while the personality of the pastor worked his magic and continued to disarm the guy and make him feel welcome. The guy was a bit taken off guard when he actually related to a story that the pastor told and smiled as he thought that this pastor was a bit different from those other priests.

The pastor continued and the guy began to have positive feelings about God that he had not thought about since he was a kid. The guy surprised by his own receptiveness smiled again as he thought that there was something to this Christianity. The guy wondered if he was being had and looked around to see if everyone was looking at him. He calmed himself when he realized that other people were just as engaged as he was. The guy appreciated the humble approach of the pastor and attentively listened to the rest of the sermon.

Afterwards another man came up asking for money with the music playing again, but the guy appreciated that he had said for new comers to not feel compelled to give as it was a privilege of those who claimed the church as their home. When the service ended the guy wanted to approach the pastor and thank him but the room was crowded with people talking.  The man stood and looked for a moment and he decided that maybe next week, he would.

Humility

In these three different stories, three different guys attend the same service in a church.  These are not meant to sum up all church experiences but to pinpoint some different specific perspectives of the visitors.

The first visitor was a guy new to church with no way to interpret this foreign experience. One would say he was simply ignorant of church culture which is fair to say about anyone new to church.  But his problem was not his lack of knowledge only, his problem was the way he already thought he knew what church was all about. It was because of this "background" he had a hard time figuring out the new experience. His perceived knowledge of church mixed with his ignorance of how to interpret made it more difficult. He had some assumptions to work through. He was confused.

The second man was a classic example of a cynic/proud man who believed he knew what church was all about and had already made judgments about the whole experience. He didn't believe he had any ignorance or need and therefore did not have trouble interpreting.  He knew already what it was about and thus his experience of church went accordingly. He mocked. There are people in attendance who do this as well.

The third guy was clearly new to the experience but he displayed a basic openness and a teachable spirit. He possessed humility you might say.  He was able to accept the service as it was and with this he was able to take something away from it. He may come again. He grew. This is the type of person we hope all visitors to church are like. But they aren't.

These were not different services catering to different people but different people interpreting their experiences. Unfortunately we can't always reach everybody, so all we can do is serve the Lord as best we can. All we can do is trust that God will draw those who he will draw. That is not an excuse but it is simply to say not everyone is going to agree on church and that should be OK.

Outsiders are not going to agree on church and neither do the insiders.  These were examples of outsiders interpreting church, but insiders have the same issues.  In fact some of these types of people are also inside the Church and these people also affect the way visitors view the experience. Some are proud and want their way. Some are humble and always give in. Some are ignorant and don't see why any of it matters. Some are there going through the motions. Some are there wondering what lunch will be and if a certain other person has come today.

Guests and members both have their opinions and preoccupations. As much as outsiders have preconceived expectations and experiences, surprisingly even so do people who are already in attendance.  As uncle Ben said to Peter Parker "With great experience comes great preference." (he didn't actually) But with different people come different feelings of comfort and desire and background. This is why it is important for churches to remember that they are a body. Different parts are different.

Shoulders like to be rubbed but bellies do not. Cheeks appreciate being squeezed but double chins do not.  Hair likes to be combed but ankles do not. Heads like to be scratched but throats do not. And so on and so forth...

All bodies are different, all churches are different, because people are different both inside and out. People visiting are different and people regularly attending are different. We are all not going to agree on the carpet or the drapes, the chairs or the pews, the drums or the organ, the lights or the candles, the wine or the grape juice, the sacraments, or even the preaching. And the music, well? That is for another blog. But we just aren't going to agree on everything are we?

If we do not start remembering that we are a body with different parts then we may just start simply being a bunch of people jockeying for our sacred cows. This only appeals to other people with similar sacred cows. It is only as we stand together that our love communicates to the world. The church should be the one place where a little leg room is given. Where a little grace is given. If the body of Christ cannot get along then why should outsiders be interested?

I know this started out about the visitors but often we can get hung up on them.  We can't control the visitors can we? But we can address ourselves. If we are too focused on our preferences then someone may come to our church and simply leave confused. Or if we are fighting over our preferences than somebody will come and leave more cynical than they came.  But if we are humble in our approach to church and to each other, people that visit will see it and grow.

Our preferences may not appeal to the outside world but our love will, the Gospel will. So if the church cannot start granting grace to each other, if the body cannot take care to be understanding of each other, then the body will start to decay.

And we don't want visitors smelling dead meat when they visit, right?

thanks

A story of 3 guys visiting Church part 1 of 4

Church is complicated, everyone has a background, and everyone has a perspective. 

The guy walks in and gawks across the room that looks like a concert hall.  He thinks to himself that this church has money.  He looks around again and a nice looking gentleman approaches him and shakes his hand. "Welcome to church, is this your first visit?" "Well, Yes" trying to get away the man shakes off the small talk and moves off to the right. He finds a seat mostly towards the back and begins to watch. A few more minutes pass and more people fill out the room.

Then at the top of the hour the lights go dark and a man comes out on stage who he assumes is the pastor, but you wouldn't know it from his casual attire. The guy recognizes this for what it is, a disarming tactic for people who feel distant from anyone called a pastor let alone to God himself.  But it has the opposite affect. "Shouldn't these people have more respect for God?"  The guy looks around and realizes he is more dressed up than most of the people in attendance. The man gives his pep talk and then exits stage left as a young attractive man comes out on stage with an acoustic guitar and a big smile. He begins strumming the typical Christian sound that even someone not familiar with church recognizes; a slight pop rock sound but with an overall clean and tamed manner emphasizing the vocals over the music. At first the man was surprised that there was no pipe organ but he decides this will do.

As he then tries to sing some of the words he finds himself distracted by the large face of the attractive young man on the screen being projected behind the words. As distracting as this is he attempts to put this out of his mind. He closes his eyes to focus but when he opens them an equally beautiful girl had appeared on screen with a light now projected on her as she does her best Mariah Carrie impersonation.  The guy finds this distracting in a completely different way. But it eases his mind a bit and he finds himself mouthing the words along with her. Another two songs with pleasant sounding not imposing music and the guy is starting to enjoy himself.

The show ends and the lights come back on and everyone takes their seat. The host comes back out and then says some things about stuff that the guy has no knowledge about, logistics, he is guessing? Church meeting? Finally the man up front says he will speak out of the book of John and the words are immediately on screen.  The guy adjusts himself in the seat and leans a bit forward, this is what he came for, to hear some of the Bible that he has heard so much about.  The man starts by reading the passage and then immediate starts talking about his life and how God has done stuff. Then he continues, and then, he continues some more, and the visitor starts to think that the pastor will never come back to explaining what he has just read.  

Minutes slip away and the guy starts to feel a bit disappointed. He came here to hear about God, instead the pastor is selling himself.  He looks around and some people are engaged and still others are looking at their phones. The guy wonders how this type of message fills this large a room week after week. As he is thinking he is interrupted by clapping all around and he realized he has missed something, a punch-line perhaps? Many of the jokes already had gone over his head but perhaps this one hit home for everybody. He again tries to concentrate but he starts thinking about how attractive the girl singer was.  He quickly stops and reminds himself that his friend will probably ask him what the service was about, but he has little idea. 

The guy can tell that the pastor is now circling the last base and the conclusion of the message is coming so he pays attention closely.  "God loves you". He hears.  He tries to listen more but he gets very little of substance but once again the people clap and he realizes they are simply agreeing with his points not being told anything they do not know. This makes the guy feel more like an outsider because he does not get it.  It wasn't clap worthy in and of itself so he must assume he has missed something again.  He realized he cannot keep up as he can't relate to all the stories and cannot simply follow along in the text as there isn't any.  The guy resigns himself that he cannot get anything out of this.  

Then the services switches to asking for money.  

The guy looks around and almost laughs. "What do they need more money for? They seem to be doing just fine." The girl starts singing again and the guy wishes this was a social setting so he could go talk to her, not that he would have the courage to talk to her, still, she was pretty.  The service ends the guy sighs deeply and gets up to leave. This time nobody approaches him so he just walks out the door.

He is new here. Confused. Ignorance isn't always bliss.


And with that another Guy goes to church...

He reluctantly sits down having walked a long way around the edge of the room to avoid having to be greeted. He sits down and tries to look ahead to not engage anyone accidentally.  Unfortunately for him someone notices him and comes over to try and make small talk.  "Lovely, sigh..." " The well dressed man mentions the weather and talks about nothing at all, the visitor somehow navigates the conversation and puts his head down to not draw any attention, but this has the opposite affect. Someone else draws near, "Sigh...I was just noticing the casino like carpeting...".

The woman that now beside him repeats herself and asks if he is OK.  At first he doesn't respond, but realizes this is a mistake because the woman persists, so he disarms her quickly. " I am just tired".  He lies.  It is already 10:30 am, a very reasonable hour of the morning for anyone to be quite awake enough. No, he is not tired but he is not bothered with conversation.  This works and she eventually wonders off and the service succinctly starts.

The lights go dark and the guy is relived because now he can literally not see the people in the row right in front of him. The music begins and the guy thinks that it is just OK. He scrutinizes the words of each song and wonders if Jesus appreciates all the fluff. The band is full on now and he laughs to himself at the missed chords and missed opportunities. The man tries to peer through the darkness to see if anyone is engaging because quite frankly, he can't hear anyone singing.  He spots a few people a couple of aisles over who appear to be mouthing the words but there is a surprising lack of volume.  He somehow makes it through the worship and eagerly sits down.

The minister comes on stage wearing a bad tie over a dark shirt with a sport coat and blue jeans.  "He looks like he is going out to a bar to meet women." He thinks. The minister begins by talking about the Bible of which he carries none. And then says that God wants to talk to the people about love, the guy smirks to himself, "So, no substance then? Anyone can talk about love. But it's hard to do it when using your bible."

The preacher continues to talk down to the people in the audience while the guy looks around to see if anyone is buying into this. He is surprised to see some people seem to be enjoying themselves. "Simple minded I guess" he muses. As the preacher continues, he starts to pick apart the pastor, piece by piece. After a few minutes of this he notices something. The young people sitting grouped together to the left are not paying attention. The guy smirks again and leans back in his chair which was starting to feel pretty comfortable. As he did he also noted that this chair was much more comfortable than the last churches' pews. "Well that's at least something."

The pastor eventually gets over himself and stops talking. But another man comes up to speak while the worship team starts playing again.  This man precedes to ask for money and the guy smirks again.  "Yup this is what it is all about, not a chance."  The man crosses his arms. Then there is a video about some dude going somewhere else who also needs money.  "Get a job kid". As the basket passes the guy's demeanor hardens as he sees that people are actually dumping their money into the basket.  "If only making money was this easy for the poor huh?"  The service ends and the guy quickly raises from his seat and leaves the building . "Just as I thought, why did I bother?"

The guy leaves smiling to himself, but another person sees him leave and at noticing the guy smiling he assumed he has enjoyed the service and says a prayer of thanksgiving. 

Pride.

These guys don't go to church much, but even they need grace. One more visitor next time and some thoughts. 

thanks

On Love and Haircuts

With Valentines here a lot of people get excited and a lot of people groan. This is not a deep without words groaning that the spirit does while making intercession for us.  No, this is because we think the holiday is stupid or pointless or merely a paycheck for hallmark. Some are excited for a night of romance, some want connection, some are depressed, some are worried about paying for it all , some don't worry because they have convinced their significant other that it is pointless. And some are actually excited for the 50 Shades of Grey movie?

So why groan? May it be because relationship are hard, or perhaps some of us are bad at them, and worse at learning about them? The Bible has something to say about that.

The Bible tells a story of a man who was driven by his passions. Samson is probably one of the best examples of a hopeless romantic in the bible. He seems to try and make it work with the wrong woman over and over again.  It ended very badly for him.

Here are some examples of the way Samson acted when blinded by lust:
Samson saw a daughter of the philistines and wanted to marry her despite her not being from their own people. Then Samson when to a prostitute in Gaza. Then he went to the valley of Sorek to live with Delilah a woman who continually betrayed him to the Philistines. 

What is wrong with this guy? But do we do much better?  What's wrong with us?

The Song of Songs is a book celebrating the love that God has gifted to a man and a woman. An underlining theme may be that perhaps we are bad at this? The book reminds us not to awaken love before it's time. But Samson would not have it. He wanted this girl no matter how much of a bad decision that was. He did not know it would cost him his life, as proverbs 7 reminds us.

to keep you from the forbidden woman,
    from the adulteress with her smooth words.

⁶ For at the window of my house
    I have looked out through my lattice,
⁷ and I have seen among the simple,
    I have perceived among the youths,
    a young man lacking sense,
⁸ passing along the street near her corner,
    taking the road to her house
⁹ in the twilight, in the evening,
    at the time of night and darkness.

¹⁰ And behold, the woman meets him,
    dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart... 

Solomon warns his son about how a man is easily enticed by what he sees.  And Solomon knew what he was talking about after all he had over 500 wives and concubines. In some ways this makes him both over qualified and perhaps also disqualified, but the advice is sound either way. In the book of proverbs he warns us about how to act when the temptation arises, because the end is always the same...

²¹ With much seductive speech she persuades him;
    with her smooth talk she compels him.
²² All at once he follows her,
    as an ox goes to the slaughter,
or as a stag is caught fast
²³     till an arrow pierces its liver;
as a bird rushes into a snare;
    he does not know that it will cost him his life.

Sometimes reaching for love before you are ready can have a tragic end. But it will always draw your heat away from God.

For us love and relationships are such a touchy subject. Because nobody is going to tell us who we can love! We just feel what we feel, right? We know this girl/dude is different! We feel it inside and that is all that matters to us. But God does have somethings to help us out with in this area. Perhaps he wants to spare us some heartache. 

I think Samson while an incredible story and important character used by God, he teaches us something about relationships.  

Look hard before you buy.

With Valentines here this is an important message.  Love is indeed in the air, but where are you sticking your nose?  The Bible has a lot to say about love and relationships if we will but listen. 

It's speaks to the timing of love.   Songs 8:4
It speaks to character of love.  1 Corinthians 13
It even speaks to the type of people to love.   2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 5:33, Proverbs 31
It even hints at the confines of love.   Proverbs 5:18-19, Genesis 2:24, 1 Peter 3:7, Mathew 19:3-9

If love hasn't arrived for you yet, this Valentines don't be on the look out for "love", instead work on being a person capable of loving and being loved. The time will come when love comes to town, but don't miss it because you are preoccupied with needing a date for the holiday not wanting to feel lonely. Don't let a holiday or a bad movie tempt you into making a bad decision when it comes to this area. Decisions of the heart last a long time. Don't be like Samson who ran after what his eyes told him was best, nor should we listen to Roxette for that matter and simply listen to your heart. No the Bible teaches us to engage our minds on this one. Probably because our hearts have a tendency to go overboard with this stuff.

But if love has already come to town for you then be a person worthy of being loved. Be excited because if your significant other is excited about Valentines and you both get to celebrate each other. Then read the Song of songs for some advice. Be prepared to love back despite your feelings on the holiday. When you don't, you make it about yourself, when it is about you, well then you are acting like Samson. 

Don't miss the point, the point being the other person who is excited about the day, not the day itself. 
Love isn't about you, love is about them. Your job is to love them. If you don't yet have someone make sure the other person is worthy of your heart. If you do then make sure you are taking the time to be worthy of their love. 

So as Samson failed to do, make sure the next time you let a girl cut your hair that she has your best interest in mind. 

thanks

Christian Communication and Comment Sections

I have seen and probably everyone who uses the internet has witnessed the poor communication we all have. Where, when, you ask? Specifically in the comment section of news stories, Facebook, blogs, Twitter, etc.

I had this unfortunate experience recently and it wasn't even as bad as the examples I have seen. A simple lack of clarification made a normal conversation into a debate. Social media lacks the nuance for heartfelt communication unless we take the time to abundantly clear. Christians should be willing to be abundantly clear when they present themselves, especially when they present a Christian worldview.  But what I have seen is that many Christians aren't even clear on what that is.

Online we have a tendency to like that which agrees with us, which is normal, and seemingly hate that which disagrees with us, which is....a problem.  Now sometimes hate is appropriate, if we are talking about say evil for instance.  But most of the time in internet comment sections this doesn't facilitate wholesome conversation. The problem is our strong emotions blind us from reason and we fail to actually have any meaningful conversation. (This is why it is said to avoid talking about politics and religion)

Now I am not interested in trying to fix the entire internet because the anonymity causes us all to act a bit different. It is like driving. We have a tendency to think "what can I get away with if nobody knows". The problem is that the internet just makes us feel like nobody knows, but everyone does, and God knows all the more.

I however am only interested in this topic as far as when Christians try to debate. I can't teach everyone manners, their mothers should have taught them that. This is part of the problem, we should know this, but even if not, it should be obvious from the pages of scripture. Our message gets muddied when love is nowhere on the field. Go read 1st Corinthians 13 again and see if  loveless language will get you anywhere.

I have seen it time and time again a so-called Christian cussing out his opponent or simply misrepresenting Christianity. I know the easy answer is he is probably not a real Christian or at least not a very good one. Then someone else will say "you don't lose you salvation if you cuss." This is also what I am not saying nor talking about here. But, since you brought it up, if you are going to stand up for a cause you should probably understand something about what you are speaking up for. Ephesians 4:29 clearly prohibits this.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

The question is not really if he is or isn't a Christian. The problem is on that platform, that medium, this person has claimed to be one. I have seen other instances where a so called Christians claims that they are part of the body and then in the next line proceed to deny major doctrines and theology. They are the cool-laid-back-christian-very-lax-about-all-that-theology-stuff, but there is not much we can do about this other than hope that the individual actually gets saved.

But when you debate you are standing up for something.  If the way you stand up for something undermines the very thing you are standing up for, you lose. If a presidential candidate answers all his questions perfectly but acts like a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins' the whole time, he undermines his message. (thank you Elf) The bigger problem is when this happens for Christianity, because then we all lose. Even if people agree, even if you shouted down the opposition, even if you get more likes, even if you get re-tweeted on twitter, we lose. Because that is not the Christian message. Telling someone off does not convince anyone of your commitment to Christ. Disregarding parts of the Bible you don't like or agree with only communicates your lack of understanding. What happens more often than not is that this language communicates that Christians and perhaps Christ himself are not very nice people nor very bright. That is a lose.

This is not how Christians talk about the faith. If you are a Christian learn this lesson: What we need are more actual Christians communicating as Christians do, bibilically. That is humbly and with love, being in control of our speech and emotions. Accurately reflecting the Bible when speaking for it is also helpful.

But I would even dare say that quoting scripture to the unsaved person isn't always useful to make your point either. Until the issue of the Gospel is addressed, that age old question that Jesus asks "Who do you say that I am?". People outside the Christian faith are not going to see the Bible as a very compelling talking point. For that matter judging someone based on verses from a book that they never agreed to adhere too is another point to address. They may be ultimately accountable, but they don't see it that way.

If the person we are debating does not buy into the Bible as authoritative, then stop using it to make them come around. They need to encounter Christ before the Bible has any appeal whatsoever. This is that whole bad communication part of it. On comment boards people incessantly just talk past each other.  Here is my set of truth, and then there is yours, and never has any conversation happened.

If they aren't interested in John 3:16 they most certainly aren't going to be interested about what that verse says about a particular sin.

As Christians we need to be better at communicating our worldview. Our worldview always begins with a person. That person is Jesus. If we don't start there then all we are is just a few more people wasting bandwidth.

thanks