On Love and Haircuts

With Valentines here a lot of people get excited and a lot of people groan. This is not a deep without words groaning that the spirit does while making intercession for us.  No, this is because we think the holiday is stupid or pointless or merely a paycheck for hallmark. Some are excited for a night of romance, some want connection, some are depressed, some are worried about paying for it all , some don't worry because they have convinced their significant other that it is pointless. And some are actually excited for the 50 Shades of Grey movie?

So why groan? May it be because relationship are hard, or perhaps some of us are bad at them, and worse at learning about them? The Bible has something to say about that.

The Bible tells a story of a man who was driven by his passions. Samson is probably one of the best examples of a hopeless romantic in the bible. He seems to try and make it work with the wrong woman over and over again.  It ended very badly for him.

Here are some examples of the way Samson acted when blinded by lust:
Samson saw a daughter of the philistines and wanted to marry her despite her not being from their own people. Then Samson when to a prostitute in Gaza. Then he went to the valley of Sorek to live with Delilah a woman who continually betrayed him to the Philistines. 

What is wrong with this guy? But do we do much better?  What's wrong with us?

The Song of Songs is a book celebrating the love that God has gifted to a man and a woman. An underlining theme may be that perhaps we are bad at this? The book reminds us not to awaken love before it's time. But Samson would not have it. He wanted this girl no matter how much of a bad decision that was. He did not know it would cost him his life, as proverbs 7 reminds us.

to keep you from the forbidden woman,
    from the adulteress with her smooth words.

⁶ For at the window of my house
    I have looked out through my lattice,
⁷ and I have seen among the simple,
    I have perceived among the youths,
    a young man lacking sense,
⁸ passing along the street near her corner,
    taking the road to her house
⁹ in the twilight, in the evening,
    at the time of night and darkness.

¹⁰ And behold, the woman meets him,
    dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart... 

Solomon warns his son about how a man is easily enticed by what he sees.  And Solomon knew what he was talking about after all he had over 500 wives and concubines. In some ways this makes him both over qualified and perhaps also disqualified, but the advice is sound either way. In the book of proverbs he warns us about how to act when the temptation arises, because the end is always the same...

²¹ With much seductive speech she persuades him;
    with her smooth talk she compels him.
²² All at once he follows her,
    as an ox goes to the slaughter,
or as a stag is caught fast
²³     till an arrow pierces its liver;
as a bird rushes into a snare;
    he does not know that it will cost him his life.

Sometimes reaching for love before you are ready can have a tragic end. But it will always draw your heat away from God.

For us love and relationships are such a touchy subject. Because nobody is going to tell us who we can love! We just feel what we feel, right? We know this girl/dude is different! We feel it inside and that is all that matters to us. But God does have somethings to help us out with in this area. Perhaps he wants to spare us some heartache. 

I think Samson while an incredible story and important character used by God, he teaches us something about relationships.  

Look hard before you buy.

With Valentines here this is an important message.  Love is indeed in the air, but where are you sticking your nose?  The Bible has a lot to say about love and relationships if we will but listen. 

It's speaks to the timing of love.   Songs 8:4
It speaks to character of love.  1 Corinthians 13
It even speaks to the type of people to love.   2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 5:33, Proverbs 31
It even hints at the confines of love.   Proverbs 5:18-19, Genesis 2:24, 1 Peter 3:7, Mathew 19:3-9

If love hasn't arrived for you yet, this Valentines don't be on the look out for "love", instead work on being a person capable of loving and being loved. The time will come when love comes to town, but don't miss it because you are preoccupied with needing a date for the holiday not wanting to feel lonely. Don't let a holiday or a bad movie tempt you into making a bad decision when it comes to this area. Decisions of the heart last a long time. Don't be like Samson who ran after what his eyes told him was best, nor should we listen to Roxette for that matter and simply listen to your heart. No the Bible teaches us to engage our minds on this one. Probably because our hearts have a tendency to go overboard with this stuff.

But if love has already come to town for you then be a person worthy of being loved. Be excited because if your significant other is excited about Valentines and you both get to celebrate each other. Then read the Song of songs for some advice. Be prepared to love back despite your feelings on the holiday. When you don't, you make it about yourself, when it is about you, well then you are acting like Samson. 

Don't miss the point, the point being the other person who is excited about the day, not the day itself. 
Love isn't about you, love is about them. Your job is to love them. If you don't yet have someone make sure the other person is worthy of your heart. If you do then make sure you are taking the time to be worthy of their love. 

So as Samson failed to do, make sure the next time you let a girl cut your hair that she has your best interest in mind. 

thanks