Dying a Death that Kills

A man makes his plans but God directs his steps.

Solomon tells us that even our jobs are vanity. The conclusion of the matter is unless we fear God and serve him first, then our work will be vain, and ultimately all of life.

Holding on for life is a great thing to do on a roller coaster. But holding onto my dreams for life may just kill me. Why? Because I can only move in a direction but God informs the end game.

I do believe that God gives us the desires in our hearts. Not that he grants them as a genie would but that he has placed within us passions, skills, and interests that are good for us to pursue. Hopefully we discover these before we head off to college and train ourselves in our respective fields. God leads and calls and directs. This is a good thing.

But as a famous theologian once said we are idol factories. If my dreams become the source of my joy. If my dreams become the focus of my thinking. If my desires become the source of my happiness. If my goals become my obsession, then I am in danger of making a God given desire into an idol. This can happen in the day to day tasks as well as the big dreams and goals that we all have.

God wants us to pursue our dreams, but not in a way that if delay in fulfillment should happen, it causes us to lose our contentment. It causes us to lose sleep, it causes to beg in prayer, it causes our view of God to alter. It becomes an idol I worship instead of God.

I have learned how easy it is to let my desires fall into a fire and simply come out as a golden calf. I didn't mean for it to happen, as Aaron told Moses, but the pressure of the crowd and the emotion of the moment, well, here is your god.

God is the only one who I am to worship. This is easy to do if we think of worship in terms of only bowing down, but what consumes our minds, our thoughts, and even our prayers? Does it grant joy in my salvation or does it steal it? God wants us to pursue our dreams but they are supposed to bring us closer to him. If the promise land becomes our end, well God is more than happy to put a desert in our way.

If we think God must perform a certain way for us to be happy, If we believe God must come through in a specific way for us to have stabilization then he will probably simply destabilize us so that we fall into the everlasting arms. This may seem like a hard truth but only if we view our definition of the solution as best, when God wants our very lives, he wants to know us. God wants us to find him.

I can only ever go in a direction. I cannot define the destination, I mustn't. The destination must be God himself. It is like following a light at the end of a dark cavern. The path I walk to get there is my own based on where I am but the destination must be the light, it must be him. I spoke a little bit about this path before about courage. Walking, truly walking with Christ is an invitation to death. He asks us to take up our cross in order to follow him.

Might it be because the only way to know truly him is to understand his sacrifice? To understand his sacrifice we have to understand the chasm that stood between us, the chasm he crossed to get to us. Suffering is a picture of God's gift to us. We tend to think only in terms of our sins that distanced us, which is true but the suffering he endured to bring us near gives us insight into our distance thus into his character and heart for us.

As much I hate to admit it, suffering teaches us.

As I carry my cross I grow to know him more and in turn to love him. I do not rejoice in suffering, I endure it for the sake of the relationship. If God went through so much suffering to get to us, will he really just leave us hanging? Will he really just abandon us on the way to the destination?

So with a new year upon us I have to ask myself how will I proceed? We are moving to Tucson, I am to take on a pastorate position. I walked ups and downs rounds and bouts and even though I see a bright future I need him more than ever. With a job on the horizon and a bit of the metaphorical forest starting to clear I now see a valley of jagged rocks with pointy bits waiting for my exposed ankles to pass by. I cannot let up now for now the real challenge begins.

I knew that when the job came a new enemy would veer its ugly head. My own confidence it seems is the next punching bag. I am still learning to fight. As I look at the new stretch of path laid out before me my mind is filled with my inadequacies and shortcomings. I recognize this for the attack that it is but I knew it was coming. I don't know if my foresight is comforting or worrying.

I know God is inviting me forward and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is with me. Is my new found instability the reality of my life or am I just now noticing how exposed I am apart from God? I will not move out from here if you are not with me. I know that much and my time in the desert has reinforced this. As much as Romans has helped me build a foundation of truth that is without compare, I find solace in the book of Psalms of late. The people cry to God but they always come back to praise. As praise is now a major function of my duties, I welcome the part. I know the road less traveled isn't easy but I know all the more where my compass points.

To battle my new adversary I feel God calling me to two things. My identity which is framed by his identity and returning once again to worship. Worship positions my identity rightly before his which is rightly primary over mine. As I sit in his truth and bestow on him praise I can rest that my identity is fastened to him. I am only because he is, or rather because of the great I Am, I can be also. My identity takes focus as I remove it from myself. He calls me to come and die so that I can truly live. 

So I return to the Lord who is my rock. I worship before the Lord of hosts and King of Kings knowing that I am apart of the household of God. Even though ease may not be my calling I want to run again, and keep running till I see his face. God, here is my life, here are my dreams, here is all I have. Take what you want even if it kills and causes a death that I didn't want to happen because you are the bringing of new life. 

Thanks

On arguing with your Doctor

The man walks through the revolving doors and looks around. The smell of rubbing alcohol immediately reaches his nose and he is reminded that he did not want to come here. He looks around at the half empty room and decides on a good seat as he walks to the counter.

"Do you have an appointment, sir?"

The man looks at the young woman and again is reminded of the hassle of the ensuing paper work. "Yes I should have been scheduled for 2pm."

He half smiles, so does she. The woman checks her computer "Mm-hmph" and reaches down and hands out the large stack of papers that he was dreading to have to fill out. "Please fill these out and we will call you shortly."

The man looks around and grabs a pen off the counter and looks back to see his seat has now been encroached upon by a lady and her son. The seat he wanted was not yet taken but the buffer zone he was counting on was now gone. He lets out a short sign and eyes another seat off in another corner by some fake plants and quickly approaches. He turns gives another glance over the room and sits down. He was looking around to make sure no one was also racing for the place. No one was. But he checked all the same.

He glaces at his phone 1:50pm. "Well, now for mindless paper filling out, it's like I am still at work."

He beings writing his name and birth date and social security number. "They should know all this". He let's the tedious work annoy him. He continues down through the document where it starts to ask pertinent and seemingly non-pertinent medical history. "Hufff, I don't know why they need all this, what does my sexual history have to do with this?!" He continues on annoyed in the paperwork and at about 2:09 he concludes he has done enough.

He slams the pen down on the clipboard louder than he meant to, he quickly looks up to check if, but nobody notices. He gets up to look around as if someone was lusting after his seat, but nobody was doing that either and so he quickly dropped off the paperwork and returned to sit down.

"John?" The woman calls out.

He looks over his shoulder to the left and watches as a man looking equally as annoyed as him walks through the silver double doors to the back.  The man glances around and sees the typical magazines that people don't actually want to read. He lowers his head and pulls out his phone to continue reading an article he had found interesting earlier at work. Of course CNN was on but he would rather read about it. After a few minutes into it.

"Martha?" A woman not to far from him on his left stands up and heads to the doors but her face is more one of fear than annoyance.

He continues with his article. The government has made a decision, saved the day by simply pushing their laws through without the voice of the people. Of course the man doesn't read it that way. "It is time to move forward with culture." He said quietly. "It was the voice of the people, there didn't need to be a vote." He continues reading and thinking 'You can't legislate morality, everyone knows that.'  He gets lost in the article again. A few more minutes pass...

"Samantha?" The man looks up and to his surprise the lady that had moved in on his last seat position was moving up with her son. The man wanted to speak up. 'I was definitely here before her" he thought. Instead of causing a scene he sat back in his chair and decided that as usual the nurses just messed up the order. "Alight Peter, no big deal." Peter continued to read another few minutes, and then like music to his ears.

"Peter?" He gleefully stood and up and walked through those silver double doors. "Follow me." The nurse said. They walked down a white hallway and rounded a corner and she led him into room 307. "The doctor will be with you in a few minutes." She half smiled and closed the door.

Peter sat back down and was slightly annoyed that he had to wait more but such is life he said. Many more minuter passed and he decided to start reading once again. Eventually the door opened and the Doctor came in. "Hello Peter, how are you today?" The doctor was an older man with the looks of about 50 with his grey hair parted to the side and small but thick glasses. He looked like the kind of doctor you would imagine and would want to be your physician.

"Just fine today Doctor, I really feel great." Peter smiled truly this time.

"That's good Peter, good to hear, well...I know they sent you over here for the results, so if I may?" He asked.

"Please Doctor, I am all ears." He smiled genuine again. The Doctor open his folder and took out three X-rays. The Doctor scanned over his notes one last time and looked up.

"As you know we were very concerned with some of these spots." He said holding up the the x-rays so that Peter could see. Peter was truly not worried.

"Well Peter, I think we have been preparing for this." Peter's smile did not change.  "I still hate to have to tell you this but it looks terminal." The doctor said in the most gentile voice he could muster. With a bit of his own surprize from the lack of a reaction from Peter he continued.  "But not to worry it is still fairly early on, so we can probably make good progress with chemo."

Peter just blinked again, "But I feel fine doctor, In fact I went for a run this morning and I still feel as good as I always have. In fact since the fall, I haven't had an episode at all. I feel even better than before because I have been doing everything that was suggested. I can't have caner, I can't!"

"I am sorry to have to give you this news Peter, but again don't worry there is so much we can do for you, especially sine it is early on." The Doctor put his hand on Peter and tried to console him.

"No Doctor, I don't believe you, I won't!" Peter was physically shaking throwing off the Doctor's hand.

The Doctor backed away and put his clip board up in front up him as if to make a bit of a barrier. "Now Peter, this is not the end by any means, we can work through this together, I have had quite a bit of success in this operation."

"Noo! Doctor!! I won't accept that, I won't!" Peter stood up fuming. He looked at the Doctor and wanted to say something but instead he pushed right passed him and headed for the entrance. Peter stormed out of the reception and got into his car. "That Doctor doesn't know what he is talking about, I feel fine. I am fine. I will show them."

Peter continued his routine for months and convinced himself that he was fine and would not listen to anyone especially the Doctor. In two years, he passed away.

Now we understand the five stages of acceptance. We know that anger and denial are the first two steps, but we also understand that it is a tragedy if people stay there. 

So sad. But is this really that unbelievable?

The church is a hospital. God is calling all to the house. We are all sick and in need of him. In fact it is so bad that we might as well be delivered straight to the morgue when we arrive. But all is not lost. Jesus Christ is the great the physician. He says that he calls not the healthy but the sick. He came not for the righteousness but for the unholy, in fact he came for our this very problem.

This is where Jesus says that we are, also that he is who we need, what we need, and he is available.

Furthermore the truth is that Jesus's staff are also sick. This is a sick person run hospital, some may have earned their positions as nurses but they still need the great physician's care as well, and he allows them to help. The job of the sick are supposed to bring their friends and loved ones because they themselves have experienced healing at the hands of the great physician.

See the great physician has already given the diagnosis. The call has gone out, it has been told on the mountains and in the streets. Some recognize their need and come to his hospital but some scoff at the notion that they are even sick. Both are sick but only one comes and gets treatment. When someone is convinced they do not have cancer no amount of discussion will change their mind. And certainly no amount of screaming will either.

If a man wants to walk the earth as a sick man rejecting the healing services of God there is not much I can do. This is why Jesus spent more time with those who heard his message rather than those who rejected it. He told them all of their need of the Great Physician but only the humble responded and received care.  This is the sad truth. It is not about types of sin or types of religiosity, it is always about humility at the diagnosis.

However compounding the issue sometimes the help tends to focus so much on the other people's x-rays that they start to sound like they themselves are not also going through their own treatment as well. If I sound like I am not also in treatment for my own prognosis than others will start to resent that they need treatment and I don't. I fear that sometimes we get into the business of instead of applying the healing balm of the Gospel we have instead tried to be evangelist's for people's sickness.

The church can never convince someone they are sick when don't believe that they are. We can only point people to the great physician. Only the sick that realize they are sick will go, only they can recognize their pain and identify with it or reject.

I fear where we are culturally is that the church is trying to convince the world of something they will not see and they hate us for it. Maybe instead of trying to convince people they are sick we can only remind them that Hospital is open 24/7 and the Great Physician is always on duty.

thanks

Easter Bunnies, Jesus, and Johnny Cash

1 Corinthians 15:14 
"If Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain."

Without the resurrection our faith is pointless. With the resurrection our faith is everything.

Easter is here again, on Sunday. Easter is great because it means He is risen! I once had to wear an Easter Bunny costume to hand out candy to kids shopping at a local grocery store in Tucson. (I was also Chuck-E-Cheese at Chuck-E-Cheese's) My church used to have sunrise services with camping and egg hunts in the national forest of Tucson. Easter bunnies and eggs of course have little to do with Christ rising again. The tradition started with the Lutherans in the 17th century and functioned in a similar way to Santa Claus. A bunny bringing golden eggs and candy for the good boys and girls before Easter. The eggs and bunny are tied to fertility and newness with spring. As I said before with Christmas the meaning doesn't entirely matter anymore to most people as it simply adds to the celebration of Jesus rising again. 

It causes excitement and points to something bigger than itself. The celebrating is the point as I hinted at before with the Christmas discussion.  It is about what we are celebrating. The eggs and bunnies and chocolate are just a way to add festivities to the day that we celebrate that Jesus has risen and we have an everlasting hope. And Kimberly and I will definitely hide eggs with candy in them for Raphael when he gets older. For now, I will eat his candy and pet the bunny. 

But I will tell him that this holiday is the capstone of the Christian year! This is the day that all Christians remind themselves that Jesus has conquered death. This is the Gospel concluded. In the end death will not have it's sting. This is the Christian hope that one day we will rise again as Jesus did. As Paul reminds us that Christ was the first fruits of resurrection.

This is why Johnny Cash sang quoting the apostle Paul:

Oh Death where is your sting?
Oh grave where is your victory?

And he also sang:

Ain't no grave that can hold my body down

He sang these songs because he understood the message of Easter. Jesus Christ rose from the dead. He has validated all his teaching. He is the messiah and he does in fact have the power over death and thus he does have the power to forgive sins. Even though the Pharisees were offended that Jesus was offering something that only God himself can do. This is why the resurrection is so great! It means Jesus was right! It means everything that he said is true! And thus he has the relationship to present us to Father in favorable terms. He himself is also God.  

Easter is the message that Christians are supposed to get to. The good news of the Gospel is supposed to get to the rising from the dead part. This is the content of faith. Who do we say that Jesus is? Our answer is what defines our faith. The Christian answer is he is God in the flesh. He is the mouth piece of God, his miracles attested to his relationship to the Father and his ability to forgive. The resurrection was the capstone of testimony to who he is. His power to overcome death is why we have a world religion following after him.

The resurrection is God's exclamation point on the witness of Jesus. If you didn't believe his message about himself from just the miracles that he performed on Earth, or from his powerful teachings with authority, then believe because not even death could hold him down. He is still alive today. Jesus Christ is not a historical past character, he is an ever present alive deity in heaven. And he is calling.

This is what Easter is about. He is real and he is fantastic! And better yet he is still offering his story to you and to me.  He is still offering forgiveness and a relationship with God. Because he is risen it means Christianity is not simply a movement that honors some long dead dude with cool ideals that we think will work for an ever crappy world.  No, Christians follow a very much alive Jesus Christ who fully suffered and died on a Roman cross in the first century and then on the 3rd day from death rose again to life.  

Do you believe that? That is the question for all people.  

I suppose only those that are interested in a relationship with God will bother to answer. But for those who have answered in the positive, they get to fully celebrate Easter as a remembrance of the amazing miracle that testifies to our very much alive God Jesus Christ.

Easter reminds us of his victory. Easter reminds us of our future. But Easter also reminds us of the world's need.

John 3:16 Says "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son that whosoever believes shall not perish but have everlasting life."

The dual message of Easter is that He is risen, that we get to rise also! But also that some won't. Some haven't yet come to terms with Jesus Christ. Some haven't believed. 

Johnny cash sang that death has no sting anymore, that the grave will not hold him down. But for many it does and it still will.  

In our reminder in this day of his resurrection, let's not forget that he has a Gospel that he wants us to share.
Let our excitement of Jesus carry over into an excitement that he offers himself to those out there in the world that need him as well. I believe part of the celebration should be that the Gospel is still readily available.  So as part of the celebration remember we are not still on the earth to simply celebrate but to perpetuate.

So be excellent to each other, party on this day (on Sunday) but share the Gospel, share your Joy!

thanks

Not all are Soapboxes

"Your future looks better than the past if you are present with the man." - Fabolous

In this case the man being Jesus not Fabolous. 

Hip Hop recording artist Fabolous shares a great truth about Christ...when it is fashioned for Christ, which it wasn't, but I am doing it now.

This is a true statement as it is applied to Jesus. The only way our present is stable is if we are with Jesus. This ensures our future as we look to him.  

Jesus reminds his disciples that he is present with them when he gives the great commission in Mathew 28.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Remembering he is present with us while we wait for his appearing and the glorious future is our blessed hope.1 Corinthians 15.

51Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. 53For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality.

We look forward to his coming, to take us with him. John 14:6

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

And this again as Fabolous has taught is better than our past as Paul says in Ephesians 4.

assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, ²² to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, ²³ and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

This is our hope and as the Bible says hope does not disappoint from Romans 5.

And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

In the past we were hopeless without Christ. In the present we are secure because of Christ and in the future we shall be like him for we shall see him as he is.  

So breathe..

thanks